Sacrifice & Compromise
If ever we feel ourselves “doing” one of these two words, we can be sure we are on a path towards resentment and negativity, guided by self-limiting beliefs. When we find ourselves there, we must stop, breath, and reevaluate. This might trigger some people. Aren’t sacrifice and compromise virtues? I was always told that a good person sacrifices and compromises for those that they love, or for their values. The problem is that sacrifice and compromise are chalked full of resistance. Let’s think about what those words actually mean: When I compromise or sacrifice, it means that there is something that I want, but I am going to GIVE UP some of what I want in order to get something I want more. The issue is that when we are sacrificing or compromising, we are still focusing on that thing that we want, that we are giving up. You cannot focus on that and feel good. That is FILLED with resistance. You know the people who live lives of sacrifice…they are bitter.
Why can sacrificing make us bitter?
We become bitter because sacrifice and compromise are filled with expectation. Almost by definition, when we sacrifice it is because we think it will get us something. Imagine sacrificing for years upon years for something that you think you will get, and then you don’t…get…it…
— That’s suffering. —
- Anytime we act with resistance we are leading ourselves on a path towards suffering.
- Anytime we sacrifice or compromise, we are leading ourselves on a path towards suffering.
What should we do instead?
We should be present fully in each momentary experience, letting go of our resistance. We should never sacrifice the moment to get somewhere. We should see each moment simply as a gift that will never be again. Those who live in this place will find that choices made in alignment with the deepest essence of who they are, experience no sacrifice.
- Does it feel like a sacrifice to not eat the donut if you are focused on how good you feel inside?
- Does it feel like sacrifice to live life, even though there is loss and hardship and struggle?
- Does it feel like sacrifice to give instead of taking?
We should always ask whether we are doing this because we think it will lead us somewhere, or because it is genuinely a representation of our alignment now? That is the difference between lack-based or abundance-based action. The feeling of sacrifice is only present because we are not yet in alignment with what we want. There are people who we appear as though they are making great sacrifices or compromises and yet, they don’t feel that way at all. They feel so whole in their choices that if we could see the great joy and peace that flows through them, all of our choices would be challenged.
The Last Thing
Smile :) Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. All is not as it seems. Remember who and what you are. There is nothing you cannot be and nothing you cannot have. But give up chasing it. Give up trying to make everything ok. Give up trying to please everyone. Give up the freaking struggle. Just be. Don’t fight life. Just begin to memorize that good-feeling place and no longer tolerate any thought that leads you away. It’s all ok.