Negativity and acceptance is interesting. It is true that if you are feeling negative then it also is “what is.” You can’t deny what is.
But the acceptance of negativity should transform that negativity into positivity. Interactions with negativity should provide you relief. If not, it means you are still identifying with that negativity and getting lost in your thoughts and feelings. (Read What Is Awareness for more info on that). You’re lost if you are rationalizing, planning your vengeance, or recapping what you wish you said in the post-fight shower.
Resistance and negativity in this case are the same thing. Negativity are emotions and energetic patterns of thought that do not make us feel good – like anxiety, fear, doubt, anger, hatred, depression. They are, in essence, resistance to what is. You must be able to keep awareness when you are feeling these. As long as you can see the negativity and are aware that you are the one experiencing it, you won’t be pulled into it. You’ll definitely see yourself get dragged under water by them again and again. It’s not easy work because it means becoming aware of pain, but people have to accept they’re hurt if they want to get better.
When you stop identifying with that negativity, it starts to release. The negative mind is always extremely dramatic. Just allow it to be dramatic (I CANNOT believe she did not call me to tell me she was in town?!). Just watch that drama and smile.
You cannot fight resistance with resistance. That simply manifests more resistance. You can only release resistance with acceptance. Once you accept the resistance, you need to then release the resistance by focusing on something that feels good. We practice that a lot in my courses.
The Process to Transform Negativity:
- Accept negativity. Don’t fight resistance with resistance.
- Think about things or do things that provide relief. Give yourself permission to do and think the things you need.
- Allow yourself to be swept up into positivity.
- Let go into that positivity and release all feelings of shame, guilt, or regret over your past negativity.
- Rinse and repeat