I recently washed my hands from the faucet before eating bread. No cup. Not halachically allowed.
I had a thought in that moment. When I stand before Hashem on the Day of Judgement, whenever, whatever that may be, what She will show me is what my life would have been like if I was connected to my Inner Being all the days of my life. She will show me all that flow, all that abundance that was waiting for me, waiting for me, like a dammed river, just for me to relax, smile, and be.
“Look Noam, look at all the impact, influence, joy, happiness, love, inspiration, flow, goodness, money, vitality, health, that you could have had, that you could have spread, had you just let go into that which you always knew to be true. All that you ever wanted was waiting for you.”
But why then God, did you give me those blocks? Why did you block off Your light from me?
“Because, only through contrast could you come to understand what you want. Only through darkness could you come to see light. Only through the pain of your own existence could you come to heal, could you come to understand what healing means, could you help others heal.”
When I come to stand before God, it will not be a list of my wrongdoings that I will see. It won’t be a movie, scene by scene of all the times I held anger, spoke a forbidden word, ate a forbidden food, prayed without intention. I believe I will be shown one thing. I will see, clearly, how all of those moments were a result of the same single source: disconnection – disconnection from who I truly am, disconnection from Source.
When I stand before God, I will not be reminded of that time I washed my hands from the faucet. No, I will be shown how, had I been in connection in that moment, I would have washed my hands from a vessel, as my father and his father and his father’s father’s father’s father did, and I would have done so with abundant presence, love, joy, and clarity.
That is what I will see on the Day of Judgement.