Parshat Beshalach: The Art of Kvetching

Parshat Beshalach features one Jewish gripe after another. Only days after Hashem rained fury down upon the Egyptians and parted the Red Sea, the Jews begin to complain: “If only we had died by the hand of the LORD in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the pots of meat, when we ate our fill of bread! For you have brought us out into this wilderness to starve this whole congregation to death.”1 Rashi comments to say that they receive both the bread and meat for which they ask. However, the bread comes in the morning when they have time to prepare it, but the meat comes inconveniently in the evening. “Because they requested the bread properly, for a person cannot exist without bread, but they requested the meat improperly, for they had many cattle. Furthermore, they could have gone without meat altogether.”2 The Torah informs us of an important point here. Fundamentally, the Jews are expressing a lack of gratitude. To lack gratitude is to go around the world with money in our bank, food in our stomachs, and still complain and worry. The Jews needed bread so their request is justified. If we lack basic necessities, we are not meant to stay silent. Rather, they express a lack of gratitude when they whine for meat despite the food in their stomachs and cattle in their camps.

Complaining is the opposite of gratitude. It is a fundamental rejection of what is, a form of heresy against Hashem. Gratitude is the act of seeing the good in every situation. It’s interesting here to consider the difference between emunah (faith) and bitachon (loosely translated as trust) – two fundamental Jewish concepts. Rabbi Shafier defines the two as such:

“Emunah is a state of understanding. Bitachon is a state of trust. Emunah comes from studying this world and seeing that there is a Creator. Bitachon is the state of trust that comes from recognizing that that Creator is good, kindly and wise—and that He cares deeply for His creations.”3

Gratitude is not emunah, but rather, it is intimately connected with bitachon. Bitachon is knowing that Hashem is actively creating the world with good and love for each of us. If one truly understands this, then one is filled with a sense of joy and gratitude for one truly understands that the moment is exactly as it is supposed to be, crafted with the highest understanding, love, and perspective. It is formed exactly for you to nurture you, develop you, and guide you. True bitachon is to live with the trust of a child. While a child might want everything now, true love and perspective is a perfectly balanced system of giving and withholding, testing and rewarding, guiding us towards growth, connection to Hashem, and long-term fulfillment. To have bitachon is to trust that this is the reality in which we live. Rabbi Gersht writes this beautifully in his book, It’s All The Same To Me (I highly recommend it),

“We were one with that which surrounded us, took care of us, nurtured us, and gave birth to the miracle of life. The illusion is that this ended at birth. Our practice is to ignore the negativity. It’s an illusion.”4

When the Jews complain they fundamentally rebel against this reality. They first voice their complaint over the lack of water in Marah, “and the people grumbled against Moshe, saying, ‘What shall we drink?’”5 They don’t even direct their complaint against Hashem, but rather against Moshe. How easily they forget that it is actually Hashem creating reality around them. We see that complaining is far different than problem solving or requesting. We are supposed to ask for things when we need them. Am Yisrael are given bread when they ask for it, but the meat comes inconveniently when they complain. This is less a punishment as much as it is a fundamental consequence. When we live with a negative perspective, constantly focusing on what we lack, we never really get what we want. Even when we do, our minds simply jump to the next thing we lack. So too was it for Am Yisrael when they received meat. Rashi says: “On this account He gave it to them [meat] at evening, at a time of (when it would cause them) trouble, a manner which was not favourable to them.”6 They received their meat, but even in this miracle they found something to complain about.

It’s no coincidence that this parsha falls during Tu’Bishvat. The Gemera in Tractate Rosh Hashanah mentions that Tu’Bishvat is the holiday for Adam Ha’Rishon (the first Adam). Levi Yitzchok of Berditchev writes in the Kedushas Levi that when we eat with intention and bruchot (blessings), we are repairing the sin of Adam.

“Adam used the future tense when describing his ‎having eaten instead of saying ‎אכלתי‎, “I ate.” The author of the ‎‎midrash7 sees in this Adam’s implied promise to repair ‎whatever damage he had done by eating the forbidden fruit, by in ‎future pronouncing a blessing before partaking of anything that ‎G’d put at man’s disposal in this universe. He hoped to undo any ‎harm his eating from the tree of knowledge had done.”8

Bruchot are the truest form of gratitude. To say a brucha is to hold whatever we are about to eat, no matter whether we wish it was different – sweeter or meatier or more plentiful – and give thanks to Hashem for what is right in front of us. What can a child offer its parents except for recognition? To simply say, I see you in this act of creation. I see that you created it so that I might enjoy it: thank you.

What is it that keeps us from truly experiencing gratitude? What is it that keeps us from truly having bitachon, from truly believing and feeling that everything is exactly as it should be right now? Bitachon requires letting go and I think that we often resist this out of fear. Fundamentally, most of us feel that we are lacking, that we are not enough. We are uncomfortable in the present moment. We think that there is something external that will satisfy us. We think that there is something we must obtain in order to be happy, safe, or content. We think that if we truly embrace what we have and let go of what we don’t, then we won’t get more. If we don’t get more, we think we are somehow giving up on what will make us safe or happy (because we think the two are fundamentally linked). But this is a lie. Our happiness is not linked to us getting more. Our safety is not linked to our bank accounts. Hashem is constantly creating reality around us. Either we perpetually chase the dragon, believing constantly that if only that one thing wasn’t lacking then we would be happy. Or we can wake up and recognize that there always is lack and, despite that, choose to appreciate what we do have. That is gratitude. It is the simple act of choosing to be happy NOW, to see the good NOW. It is to question whether we want because we need or we want because we simply have wanted our entire lives.

When we truly focus on what we have with our entire hearts, not only do we help fix the world, but we fix ourselves. Ever so slowly, when we begin putting our attention on what we have, we stop noticing what we lack. We can live a life where even when we have all that we need, we still lack. Or we can simply choose to see that Hashem is giving us exactly what we need at every moment. May we all merit not only to understand this truth in our minds but to feel it in our hearts as well.

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