Parshat Bechukotai: I Can’t Get No Satisfaction

Parshat Buchukotai seems to be the catalogue of rewards and punishments Hashem will rain down upon us if we do his will, or don’t. Is Hashem the Gd that the Catholics seem to think He is, with all the the fire and brimstone, a god who damns sinners to unimaginable torture for eternity. Is this life simpy a test of whether we are worthy of heaven or hell?

Parshat Buchukotai opens with, “If you follow My laws and faithfully observe My commandments…”1 A list of rewards follows. 11 verses later comes, “But if you do not obey Me and do not observe all these commandments.”2 This is followed by a list of punishments. A brief look at these rewards and punishments might bring to mind a spiteful god. A closer look reveals something entirely different.

Hashem promises us that if we observe His commandments, the rain will fall in its season, the earth will yield produce, we will be fertile and multiply, and our storehouses will overflow such that we will have to empty them to make room for the new harvest. It seems from this that His blessing consists merely of material wealth and abundance. The most elucidating line though is the following: “You shall eat your bread to satiety and you shall dwell securely in your land.”3 Rashi comments to say, “He will eat a bit and it will become blessed in his innards.”4 Rashi seems to tell us that it is not that bread will be so plentiful, but rather, that the bread will be satisfying. Quality over quantity. Later, the parsha says, “you will eat but you will not be sated.”5 Rashi says there that “this is a curse inside the innards,”6 in that you will eat, but you will not glean nutrients or satisfaction from your food. This is the reward you will receive if you follow Hashem’s ways. This is the punishment you will receive if you don’t. If you follow his laws, you will be satisfied. If you don’t, you will be unsatisfied and no amount of eating or wealth will satiate you.

This is the true curse: to never feel satisfied with what you have. We live in an age of immense material comfort and wealth and yet anxiety and depression, suicide, and drug abuse abound. Hashem promises exactly this: “I will wreak misery upon you—consumption and fever, which cause the eyes to pine and the body to languish; you shall sow your seed to no purpose.”7 Rashi says that “the eyes look expectantly and ‘pine’ to see that he should be relieved and healed, and in the end, it turns out that he is not healed...any desire that does not come to fulfillment and any hope deferred is termed כליון עינים, ‘pining of the eyes.’”8 I cannot imagine a better description of today’s reality. People toil, chasing after what they think they want, constantly looking forward while never appreciating what they have and never truly receiving what they want. They want safety, love, connection, purpose, and meaning. What they chase is honor, money, validation, and lust. Even if they achieve these things their eyes remain “pined.”

Hashem further describes our affliction, “You shall flee though none pursues.”9 You will constantly be afraid and worried, yet there is nothing there for you actually to fear. Today, most have never gone hungry, they have never feared true danger, they have not been homeless, cold, or destitute. And yet, all we can seem to do is worry, perpetually running from a nonexistent enemy. In the Talmud, it is said, “Rabbi Eliezer the Great says, whoever has bread in his basket, and says: What shall I eat tomorrow, he is nothing other from those of little faith.”10

The parsha says, “your strength shall be spent to no purpose,” and Rashi comments to say that if one doesn’t toil, they will not take failure to heart. But if they put their heart and soul into their work with no reward, it will ruin them.”11 When one has no purpose, no meaning, one’s time becomes spent protecting one’s ego. Our little ‘I’ begins to concern itself with the judgements of others. It worries whether ‘I’ will succeed, whether ‘I’m’ beautiful, whether people are according me the respect ‘I’ deserve, whether reality will fit my expectations.” This is the kind of mentality that leads to suffering. Michael Singer writes, “You have mistreated it [your mind] by giving it a responsibility that is incomprehensible. Just stop for a moment and see what you have given your mind to do. You said to your mind, “I want everyone to like me. I don’t want anyone to speak badly of me...I don’t want anything to happen that I don’t like. And I want everything to happen that I do like.’ Then you said, ‘Now mind, figure out how to make every one of these things a reality, even if you have to think about it day and night.’”12

What is Hashem’s message? He says: if you follow my commandments and laws, you will have material abundance and wealth, but more importantly, you will appreciate it. You will be satisfied. You won’t be plagued by undue worries and anxieties. “I will grant peace in the land, and you shall lie down with none to frighten you.”13 You will have all that you want and that which you don’t have, you will realize that you’re not supposed to have it. But if you don’t follow my statues and laws, nothing will ever satisfy you. You will be perpetually chasing the carrot, asleep, dead, placing all your hopes and dreams in ends that do not provide, in wants that leave you wanting, in pursuits that are depleting. You will be plagued by irrational fears and worries and no matter how much you have, you will never be at peace.

What is that Hashem asks of us? Rashi comments on the line, “...Follow My laws and faithfully observe My commandments,”14 and interprets it as, “Study the Torah laboriously with the intention to take heed and to fulfil its teachings.”15 We are supposed to study Torah, to immerse ourselves in wisdom, with the intention of it affecting our actions. This is what Hashem asks of us: be intentional about all that we do. Realize that every action, every word, every thought that we have moves us in a certain direction: closer to truth, closer to Hashem, and closer to ourselves, or further away – closer to our egos. Every single moment of our lives must be aligned with this Truth. For what other reason are we alive? If it is not our higher wisdom that is in charge, then it is our programming. Our programming only knows how to seek pleasure and avoid pain. It knows how to lust, to defend, to attack. It does not know how to heal, to love, and to rest. We cannot imagine the impact that each conscious, purposeful decision we have has upon us and upon the world. Hashem tells us to live for something greater than ourselves. We are alive to live in relationship with Hashem and to bring His energies and values into this world. We are here to spread joy, love, hope, peace, and healing.

When we understand this, we understand that the punishments and rewards laid out in Parshat Bechukotai are not afflictions and pleasures bestowed upon us by a man in the sky. No, this is a framework for understanding how the world works: the cause and effect of our actions, the pathway towards peace and happiness. When we devote ourselves to intentionality cultivated through wisdom, we move closer to perfection. We let go of what we can’t control and embrace fully that which we can. We seize each day with fire and wake up like a lion. We do not have irrational fears because we realize our purpose is to live each moment fully, no matter the circumstances. When we embrace this and are filled with the joy and energy that conscious living provides, we realize that we can handle any circumstance, so we have nothing to fear. We live with confidence, with passion, with light and we get what we want. But most importantly, we focus on what we have. When we do not do this, when we let our fears and doubts, our drives and programming control us, we remain trapped in our egos. We remain afraid of anything that damages our illusion of control, no matter how irrational those fears might be. We fill our stomachs with food, our houses with things, and our lives with busy-ness, but it does not satisfy. Hashem does not need to enact punishment upon us. The way we choose to interact with the world and with others can be punishment enough.

Rav Dessler writes, “Life seems so desirable, so pleasant. Is the one who chooses Torah compelled to renounce all this? And in that case will his life be worth living? But our reply must be: you are mistake, dear questioner. Our pleasures are far greater than theirs. Their pleasures are illusory. They may imagine they are enjoying life, but it is not so...They have no satisfaction from their pleasures; they are not medushney oneg (fattened in pleasure, as our Sabbath prayer puts it). They chase after illusory pleasures and they attain them at the most only partially and very temporarily. For the most part their lives are spent in pursuing that which they never attain. Our lot is to be “fattened in pleasure”; spiritual pleasures are real, permanent—and fully attainable. Our happiness is complete in this world….This too is the deeper meaning of the blessing we find in keriat shema, ‘and you will eat and be satisfied.’ To be satisfied is the highest and best of all blessings.”16

May we all merit to feel satisfied. May we all merit to walk without fear. It is a well-known Jewish axiom that Hashem will never test us with tests we cannot pass. Where do these tests reside? In the present moment – in reality, which is Hashem manifested around us. But do not think that within our own anxious minds – constantly worrying forwards and longing backwards – that we cannot create tests beyond our capacity. Bring yourself back to the moment. Realize all that you need is right here now. Realize the power you have in this present moment to create the life you want. Trust. And live every moment of your life in-line with this understanding.

Here is an exercise you can practice when you feel yourself pulled into the “punishments,” or towards an action that you know is not in-line with your higher wisdom.

Stop and take 9 breaths:

(Be strong, be strong, and strengthen) !חזק! חזק! ונתחזק

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